Since the big day fell during the week this year, it is not possible for us to have a big blowout type of celebration. Early to bed, early to rise -- this tends to put a damper on the partying. We have been married a long time, but every day is Valentine's Day, if you want to know the truth.
To me, that means we love each other every day, and we show that love by respecting each other, keeping the other's best interests at heart at all times, and never doing anything that would hurt the other, or damage our life together.
If you think that is hokey or stuffy or silly, that is your prerogative. I had a history of prior bad marriages and relationships, and I can tell you this: it means everything to have a husband who would never lift a finger to hurt me, who has very rarely raised his voice in anger, and who puts me first in all things. I gladly return the favor. If there is something I want, he will move heaven and earth to make sure I have it.
The Second Corinthians passage which is often quoted at weddings, the one which starts, "...love is patient, love is kind..." is how we choose to live out our marriage. It was a good guide when it was written, and it is still the best one.
Some of the commercial trappings of romance like armloads of roses, very expensive restaurant meals, extravagant hotels, lots of sparkling jewelry -- we have learned to temper these things for special treats. They are not a measure of how much a man loves you anyway. That yardstick is much more real.
My husband helped me care for my late mother for years. He used his money, his time and his energy to help me with this drawn-out heartbreaking task. He came to love her deeply and she him. His relationship with my son was more complicated in the beginning, but it is a good one now. That is a measure of a man's love for you.
A man who goes to work everyday to take care of his family; a man who does not drink up his paycheck; a man who does not whore around; a man does not beat his wife; a man who is a good father to his children. That is a man who is a good Valentine. My father was such a man, and my husband is such a man.
I truly wish for everyone a relationship like this. We all deserve nothing less. I certainly appreciate mine every day, not just on February 14.
Scribbler
To me, that means we love each other every day, and we show that love by respecting each other, keeping the other's best interests at heart at all times, and never doing anything that would hurt the other, or damage our life together.
If you think that is hokey or stuffy or silly, that is your prerogative. I had a history of prior bad marriages and relationships, and I can tell you this: it means everything to have a husband who would never lift a finger to hurt me, who has very rarely raised his voice in anger, and who puts me first in all things. I gladly return the favor. If there is something I want, he will move heaven and earth to make sure I have it.
The Second Corinthians passage which is often quoted at weddings, the one which starts, "...love is patient, love is kind..." is how we choose to live out our marriage. It was a good guide when it was written, and it is still the best one.
Some of the commercial trappings of romance like armloads of roses, very expensive restaurant meals, extravagant hotels, lots of sparkling jewelry -- we have learned to temper these things for special treats. They are not a measure of how much a man loves you anyway. That yardstick is much more real.
My husband helped me care for my late mother for years. He used his money, his time and his energy to help me with this drawn-out heartbreaking task. He came to love her deeply and she him. His relationship with my son was more complicated in the beginning, but it is a good one now. That is a measure of a man's love for you.
A man who goes to work everyday to take care of his family; a man who does not drink up his paycheck; a man who does not whore around; a man does not beat his wife; a man who is a good father to his children. That is a man who is a good Valentine. My father was such a man, and my husband is such a man.
I truly wish for everyone a relationship like this. We all deserve nothing less. I certainly appreciate mine every day, not just on February 14.
Scribbler
Wonderful tribute to your husband! We are celebrating our 40th Valentine's Day -- hard to believe we are old enough to have done anything for 40 years!
ReplyDeleteHappy 40th Valentine's Day with your beloved. I don't know if we found each other in time to have 40 years, or if we make it we'll be too senile to know! I don't feel very old, but I think it is impossible to deny when we were born.
DeleteVery lovely to read such thoughtful feelings for your husband.
ReplyDeleteSuch wonderful words....Sounds like you have a wonderful husband and it good to celebrate each and every day you have to spend with each other.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I like sparkly things, I appreciated the email from my valentine yesterday even more. Great thoughts about the true meaning of having a Valentine.
ReplyDeleteYes, ma'am! Right on! Preach it, sister! I feel the exact same way! I never had anyone who was crazy mean to me or anything like that (because otherwise I am certain I'd be writing this from a prison cell after going postal on his butt!), but I have had more than my share of marriages and relationships that fell way short of what is real. When Ramon & I found each other, we knew it was the real deal, and we have thanked God for that every day. We work HARD to make SURE nothing ruins the blessing God has bestowed upon us. You know what we went through last summer with the whole Savannah thing. That could have torn a lot of couples to shreds. We weathered the storm through mutual nuturing and understanding and cheerleading. It was not easy (and STILL isn't!), but we are going through it TOGETHER. That makes all the difference in the world. I applaud you for having the balls to tell it like it is, sister! We all love sparklies and fun stuff, but it doesn't take a single day of the year to compel us to show the love, respect, compassion and consideration we have for each other. I'm so proud of you, little lady! Right ON!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I of you, especially for the way you have come through the Savannah debacle. It is sad but true that many people who deal with a major crisis do not come out of it with the marriage intact. Thank you for the kind words.
DeleteYou could not be more right! I also had some bad relationships until I met my husband thirty one years ago. I wouldn't trade him for all the luxuries in the world. Sounds like you got a good one too!
ReplyDeleteHugs, Sherry